You've probably heard the expression,
"Go big or go home!"
That's kind of the way we've approached church at Connections.
Actually, it's at the heart of who we are.
We go big in a theatre to offer a worship service designed to glorify God and change lives.
Then we go and meet in people's homes because we value the intimacy and hospitality that happens when people get together.
Unfortunately, I stepped into the messy middle recently.
We've wanted to keep some programs going for people to gather outside of the worship service.
It wasn't big.
But it wasn't personal.
Perhaps it was a communication problem on my part, but I think there's more to it than that.
I think people respond to the big OR the personal.
It has to be a big event- a worship service, an all church picnic, a road trip.
OR
It has to be personal- "I would love you (insert name here) to come to my home this Friday night."
When we offer the middle, people don't know how to respond.
Also, all events and personal invitations have to share one thing in common- a face.
When somebody is the champion of an event, it gives confidence that it is going to be awesome.
The picnic was awesome because it was obviously a big event planned by a bunch of people.
Our road trip to Ontario Place was a success because Melissa Meems got up front and made a whole bunch of people want to go, knowing that she was leading the charge.
But the cookout at the Saylor's house this Sunday- to whom does that apply? Is it open to everyone? We can't fit 200 people in my yard, so we have to limit it to about 30 people.
So who's in the 30?
Unless you are ABUNDANTLY clear, by default it will be very UNCLEAR.
So it looks like some very CLEAR invitations will have to go out for the Saylor's cookout this Sunday.
What are your thoughts on this?
Does that make sense, or have I missed the mark once again?
PS- all this applies to the idea of planned verses spontaneous.
We need both, but we shoudl be clear which one we're aiming at.
I'm all about planning Connection Groups or big events.
We need that.
But we also need some spontaenous, more organic ways of gathering- the three couples that eat lunch after church, the friends that just start meeting each week to support and listen to each other.
I love the stuff we plan, but I also love the stuff that just seems to happen. I think we need both.
it hard to limited You could have this open house style come and go have the barq on all time. or you can go to a park and have everyobody come do a pot luck. 30 one Sunday 30 next Sunday group so on so on that way everybody came to your house. May the Lord Bless you in your Sundays that they feel bless.Rita J Bethel CRC
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'd blur the "or" a little more. From my experience, I think that many people will respond to either "big" OR "personal" but... will tend to apply their preference to each setting.
ReplyDeleteThose that prefer "big" lean towards personal groups where there's an opportunity to grow big. Personal, but potentially big, therefore okay. Similarly, those that prefer "personal" see "big" events as either an opportunity or a distraction to the personal connection. The Sunday service may be an opportunity, as it allows you to connect with people and set up a time to have personal settings... but an outdoor event seems even bigger than a Sunday service, and may feel so impersonal that it is perceived as a distraction to getting personally connected.
I think the biggest key is to remind ourselves that Jesus had twelve close friends, but fed 5,000. He took personal time to get away from everyone and be alone with God, but preached to multitudes. He accepted his own death for the sins of humanity, yet grieved so greatly over the death of his friend Lazarus that he miraculously brought him back to life. He loves the whole world, but cares enough to focus on just one person.
Who's invited? We don't know. But show up anyway. Here's a time and place. But... what if the whole church shows up? Then 20 will pack into the living room, 10 in the kitchen, 30 in the dining room, 50 outside, 25 on the front lawn, 12 in the garage, 5 might just go home, 4 will sit on the stairs, 3 will block doorways... Some will show up late, some will leave early. Some will stick around to help clean up. Some will make a mess and run away. Introverts will sweat all night. Extraverts will be in their glory. But all that happens in a group of 30 too.
There's no doubt in my mind that we need both. There's also no doubt that some will love that we have both, and the rest will lean one way or the other. But I'll say this: praise God... I really mean it, praise God... that we're not cliquey. That we're filled with people who love people who love people. That big events work, and lots show up. And small events work, and most show up. And run-ins work, and more than you expect show up. And volunteerism works, and more than most churches, people show up. And most importantly, that there isn't this hard line between "those that do, and those that receive"--that there isn't an overhead of staff doing things one way, while the body is wanting things another way. That there isn't an "us vs them" mentality.
But I think you hit the nail on the head with the statement that "Unless you ABUNDANTLY clear, by default it will be very UNCLEAR." Funny thing though, run-ins work, and yet they are unclear. Unscripted. Unplanned. Uninhibited. But not Unpurposed. And therefore, strangely great. Being unclear is ok; being unpurposed is not. What's the purpose? Connect. How do you connect? Any way you can. What if other people connect without me? Then who's responsible for not connecting...