Divorce

First, thanks for some great feedback on the post yesterday.
That will really help my preparations for this Sunday.

Today we hit Jesus' third, "You have heard..." statement.
This one would be even more controversial to preach.

Matthew 5 ³¹"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' ³²But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

OK, this is not the end-all, be-all treatment and interpretation of this passage and the issue of divorce. But let's go back to the context and flow of these statements.

Jesus is taking us out of a shallow-water religion of show.
He's taking us into a deeper relationship with himself (God) and others.
(We could trace this forward to the time when Jesus will declare that loving God and loving our neighbors as ourselves encompasses every law of God.)

So these statements pinpoint break-downs in relationships, and how we can push through.
So we hit murder- bad idea, but let's go deeper and deal with anger.
Adultery- bad idea, but let's go deeper to the lusts that drive us into adultery.

Now divorce- and now things get a bit different.
Here's the bad idea- easy divorce.
Write the certificate, leave it on the table, walk out of the relationship.

Jesus goes deeper. There is no such thing as easy divorce, even a divorce that might be justified because of marital unfaithfulness. That is still going to mess you up. There are no real winners once a couple is married and then seeks divorce. You can't just walk out of this relationship in an easy way. It's going to be messy.

We know that God's design is for marriage to last a life-time. Only death should sever the relationship forged in marriage. So divorce is severing a relationship that's designed for life.

Divorce is not unforgivable.
It doesn't make us a "bad person."
But it makes us a broken person.
It means we've messed up major relationship.

But who isn't broken?
Who hasn't messed up some relationships?
Who in their heart-of hearts hasn't felt like a pretty bad person at some point?

Here's the deal, God says "I hate divorce" Malachi 2:16.
God hates divorce because divorce is a fundamental breakdown of a fundamental relationship.
God never says he hates divorced people.
He hates what divorce does to people.
He hates the things that people do that cause divorce.
He doesn't like lusting hearts.
He doesn't like adultery.
He doesn't like anger.
He doesn't like murder.

These feelings, these behaviors, destroy lives and relationships.
And since Jesus wants us to have life, and since he wants us to have great life-giving relationships, he is going to love us enough to confront these issues.

OK, I just re-read what I've written and it's not my best work!
But take this away-

Before we ever get married we should get to a place with ourselves, God, and others, that we might enter into a healthy marriage. (Or not enter marriage if we are called to singleness.)

When we get married we need to orient our lives and marriage in a way that protects us from ever entertaining divorce.

But if we find ourselves married, if we've been the one who's been cheated on, if we've done the cheating, that marriage has been rocked. It might not recover.

But maybe it can if both parties are willing to do some deep work.
If there can be true repentance.
True forgiveness.
Time for healing.
And real changes made.

Divorce sucks. Just ask anyone who's lived through it.
So don't enter into marriage lightly.
Don't screw up and screw around if your married.
If you're already in the throws of a separation, don't throw in the towel without trying the hard work of reconciliation.

And if you're living in the hard work of managing a divorce,
God loves you and is still here for you.
He will never leave you or forsake you.

Post- Script:
Once again- this is not an exhaustive treatment of this topic. But if you have a prayer request or a story to tell regarding this issue, please pass that along.