A Plan for Discipline

Most of the questions I received this past month had something to do with discipline.
Instead of going into a whole dissertation on the topic, let me share one bible verse, and one plan for parents to put into practice.

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

~ Ephesians 6:4

First, ALWAYS remember- the point of using discipline is to build our relationship with our children, and create discipline in them.  Never stray far from that guiding principle.


Now, a plan:


Start Early.  Create a home characterized by discipline from BEFORE your children are even born.  Let them be born into an environment characterized by this type of structure.

Set Boundaries.  Draw the line in the sand.  Make it very clear.  Make sure they understand.  Get them to nod their head and say "Yes, I understand."  Then...

Set Consequences.  They MUST know where the line is, and they must know what the consequences will be if they cross it.  And if they do cross it...

Discipline!  If they crossed that line that they knew existed, and if they knew there would be consequences, then you MUST enact the discipline required.  And yes, they will test you in this.  Do not fail to follow through.  This is when most of us mess up.  If they cross the line, and you back off.  You’ve failed!  You must follow through.  Then, and this is the MOST important part of the plan...

Restore the Relationship.  Remember, the point of discipline is to build the relationship and create self-discipline in our children.  You must love them and affirm them back into relationship with you.  A good starting point is to just ask, “Are we OK now?”  Discipline should always have the ultimate outcome of building love between parent and child, child and God, and the child and them-self (Self-worth).

Two things now to keep in mind: Be fair, and be consistent!
If you fly off the handle.  If you yell and scream and throw things.  If you send them away from you, you FAIL.  Send them away, most often, simply means you are forfeiting your role as disciplinarian.  You are not enforcing discipline, you are simple revealing how undisciplined you are.  You need to do a gut check and get it together.  You can’t raise disciplined kids if you have no discipline.